moving foward after twenty fourteen

twenty fourteen was a very struggling year and had many ups and downs. i can say i have learned so much this past year and had life changing moments. a very dear friend past away too soon at the young age of twenty three.he taught so much about forgiveness.as well you all and patiences. he was a fellow renegamer.he had such an amazing personality. god bless him and may he be in peace. i am so truly grateful and blessed to have you all apart my life. there are no words to express my gratittude and appreciation for you all. i hope and wish you all a great and peaceful joyess new year. god bless.

Ouch!

On Thursday of last week I fell out of my shower. 🚿😔😭 yeah embarrassing... 😯 I had to go to the hospital 🏥🚑 was there for hours. ⌚ugh.. But I am okay just very sorrow. Thank god I didn't break anything like my back or leg or arm. 🙌🙏 so that is good. 😊 anyway, I am planning to move when hopefully soon. Because after my apartment was broken into for the third time. I don't feel safe here anymore. So yeah.. I will keep you updated. 😊💕 I miss you all and appreciate all you're support and love. Take care and be Well. 💙💕👼 also Michael's family aka Props family is doing a little better but still devastated. My Thoughts and Prayers are with them. 👼😇🙏💕

Miss you all!! :)

I miss you all so much! 💙😇😊💕 thank you all so much for hanging in there with me and sticking with me. I hope to have home internet soon. 😊💙 I am just watching TV and movies and stuff. My brother Sergio's bday was ten days ago. 🎂🎉🎉🎊🎊😊🎈🎈🎈 Today is my younger brothers R.I.P. 😔♥♥🎂🎁 anyway, wish you all well and be well and take care all. 💙💕😇 be back soon.

A Sad Day.

Today I found out Nov. 1, 2014. That a fellow Renegamer and Dear Friend Michael only 23 died in September. 😔😭👼💙🙏 aka Props. Was his twitch name. He was sick and didn't tell his family. He was a Great and Wonderful friend. God bless him and may he be in peace. He Always had a great since of humor. 💙🌹 😊 he will be missed for sure. Also after finding this out my apartment was broke into again. Yes, again.. I am feeling confused and sad all at once. Please if you are not well get help and tell you're loved ones. They love you and care about you don't keep it to you're self. Ever!! Well please take care and be well. Love and miss you all so much. 💙💙💙😇👼🌹🌹🙏🙏 R.I.P. Props! 💙💙 ALWAYS A RENEGAMER!

A Rough Day..

Today, was a rough one. 😔😭💙 I had to take my Dog Peanuts back to my Mom's House. 💔👼🐶🏡 I know he will be okay. But I miss him and love him. 💕😔 stupid apartment neighbor's. 😡 nosey jealous people. We're where they when my apt was broken into.? I know it is what it is.. But it still sucks. 😔 anyway I am glad he has adjusted well. 😊😇 🐶 I hope he stays healthy and continues doing well. 😊💙💕  I am also without internet again at home. 😭 stupid Sprint! Over Charging me its terrible. They also make Promises they can't and Don't keep. How rude!! And planning wrong.. Anyway I miss you all so much hope all is well. Take care and be Well. 💙💕😊👼😇

A Day To Remember...

Today is September 11th. 13 years ago we America were Attacked. I will Never Ever Forget because a former Instructors Aunt Died in those Towers that day. 👼💕✨😔 🙏 I was going to College for the first time that year. I was excited and nervous but looking forward to it. I was getting ready that morning had the TV on and all. I when I was done I sat down to wait for my brother to take me. As I was watching the TV it happened suddenly I thought it was  a commercial for the new SpiderMan Movie that was coming out in a few days. Boy was I Wrong.. It was crazy and scary all at once. Watching it All unfold in front of me on TV. 😔 I was just stunned and confused as to why someone was doing this. In the Aftermath of it all, I was crying for days every song on the radio was God Bless America. 🇺🇸A! 🇺🇸A! This one of many times I really started to appreciate life and everyone around me. This horrible event brought Our Country together for sure. Made us All Appreciate life and each other. 👼💙👪👫👬👭💏💑😇🙏

I wish we had stand with it but after some years passed everyone went back before with there hearts filled with Hate and Evilness 😔💔 😭 heartbreaking really.. Not much you can do.. People feel the way do. Anyway, I am glad others like myself made changes in life and continue to do so everyday. 👼💕😊😇 well take care and be Well. God Bless!

Amazing! :)

I am so very Thankful and Grateful for ALL who have stood by me when things got rough in my life and made sure I Never Gave Up! 💕👼💙 I will be Forever Blessed for that. 😊 I know I keep saying this but I will never stop Appreciating All of you guys who have helped me. Like with the passing of my brother and almost losing my Aunt twice,and more. You have helped me to be a much Stronger person and much more Positive and more out spoken. The major one being Not Taking things so Personal! Yeah that was a huge problem of mine. You All have helped me so much even my own mom has noticed she actually told me this past week how much of a Strong person I am. It shocked me because I always thought I was weak in her eyes. But I was proven wrong and that's okay. 😊😇💕 well take care all and be Well. God Bless! Oh and thank you for All you're Inspiration! 💙♥💕

Happy Labor Day!

Hey! Just want to say Happy Labor Day! 🇺🇸🎁🎊🎉🎈🎈🎂😇 I pray and wish you All a safe long weekend. 😊 I want to say Thank You to All the Men and Women how fought for my freedom and my families and friends. God bless and it is a True Honor for sure. 🙏🌟👼😊🇺🇸💙💕

I also want to say Happy Birthday to a very Honorable and True Inspiration Dan Gheesling!!! 👼💕💙🎉🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊🎊🎁🎁🎁🎁🎂🎂👪🎈🎈🎈🎈 I hope you have the best day ever! God bless! I wish all the happiness and more. 😊

I also want to say my mom had a good and interesting vacation. Lol explain more later but for now take care and Be Well. 💙💙💕💕👼👼🙏😇😊🌟

Thankful for! :)

I am continuing this because I really enjoyed it. 😊💙👼
I am thankful for my life, yes my life meaning for being born and Surviving all that I have. I was technically not suppose to be alive. Yes, seriously my mom almost lost me she got so sick when she was pregnant with me. She couldn't hold anything down and she was losing weight. She found out later I had heart murmur one vale bigger than the other. Yeah scare I know. But by the grace of god and prayer I am was born, my heart murmur went away on its own when I was 7 . can I get it back? Yes, if I am not careful. I am watching it very carefully. 😊
I am thankful for being able to wake up everyday in my own place and live my own life. It took a while to get it but 3 years ago I finally did it. Yeah, I know should have done it sooner but honestly with all I was going through during that time I wasn't ready. I had so many issues to face and changes to make. But I am here and I am very grateful for it. 💙👼💙
I am thankful for such True and Amazing people in my life. That care enough to be apart of my life not because they have to but because they want too. I am So truly honored by that and love you all so very much god bless and Be Well. 😊💙👼👪

Can't we just all get Along?

Normal I don't speak about matters having to do with Social Media. I like to talk about my family and things going on in my life. But the serious Amount of Hate people have for One person is ridiculous. I mean I am not saying nor do I approve of Bullying or slandering of someone's character. I know personally what this is like and its horrible. I was bullied my whole life and more. My point to this is Hate is a very Strong word and to each there own. I personally Don't and Have Never hated anyone and don't use the word either. Yes I know the word is in my blog but that's because I am addressing it. An other thing I don't appreciate people saying " America or no one likes you or hates you" first off you don't speak for me or America. Or anyone else at that. So instead of saying "we" or "America" speak for yourself. Try taking responsibility for you're self  and your own actions. Sorry for the rant and not so positive blog but this really bugged me. On that note, my mom is going on vacation with her sister Minie my Tia. (Aunt) 😊 💙👼 ✈🚘⛽ to Oregon. For a week she is excited! To visit family. This is were I want to live. 😊💙 💵 📷📹 I hope she enjoys herself. 😊 take care and be Well.  💙👼💕💕

Just a Thought..

I am just really Amazed and Shocked really with all this Hate people have in their hearts for people they don't know and may never meet. I mean wow! Then also the bullying I what are we in grade school again gosh! Grown Adults bullying each other and kids. It's really sad and heart breaking. Especially for someone like myself who was bullied there whole life. I mean just crazy and disgusting. I know freedom speech blah blah blah but not to bully people and attack there families. That's just planning wrong. Anyway sorry for the rant but I needed to get this off my chest. You don't have to agree with me I get it. But this is my opinion. So please respect it. Thank you appreciate it. 💕💙👼🙏👪

Be Inspired!

In the sad and unexpected passing of Robin Williams I want to share my personally struggle with Severe Depression. I have been dealing with this for a very long time, it for sure is not easy by any means. It is very much treatable but only if you're willing to talk about and want the help. The sad thing with him he really couldn't share because of the constant being in the public eye. As for me, I was and am blessed and honored to have very Supportive and very Loving family and friends Encourage me to stay strong and positive. 👼💙💙 As he did too. With this being said please if you or anyone you know is suffering with Depression please get help and talk to someone. God bless and Be Well love to All! 💙💙🌹🌹👼👼

Thankful Truly!

I am Truly very Thankful for all the Support and Kindness and Knowledgement for all The Follow Friday's I do. I truly Appreciate it very much and can't say thank you enough to and truly blessed and honored I am to follow each and everyone of you. ♥👼💕💕 I am so very glad and honored to do it. I hope that it brings you that much more followers and interaction with your Supporters and Fans of many. I truly am blessed and honored to have you all apart of my life and like my twitter family 😊💙 in someway. I wish each and everyone of you all the best and take care and be Well. Love to you all!! 💙💙💙💕💕💕💕👼👼🌹🌹👪

I am Thankful Final Day!

I was nominated by a True Dear Friend Janet Meads to write 3 things I am thankful for, for 3 days. I am blessed and honored to do it. 👼😊♥💕🌹

1. I am thankful for my dogs Precious and Peanuts they protect me and love me no matter what. I know this probably sounds silly to some but I love them like they were my kids. I don't have kids unfortunately I can't have any. 😔 but that's another topic for later. Anyway, they mean everything to me and I love them so much. 😊👼💕💕♥🌹🌹

2. I am thankful for Social media and Twitch TV because if it wasn't for that I would never have gotten to know so many Amazing True Friends I am So blessed and honored to know them and hope to one day meet them All. Including Mr. Dan Gheesling who helped make the best community of people and second family to me possible. 👼😊💕💕♥🌹🌹 #TeamReneGamers #TeamMist 😊

3. I am thankful for All the Support from everyone that has helped through the passing of my younger brother it has given me so much Strength and Motivation to be a better me and to understand why he did what he did and why he made the choices that he did. I personally wish I could've done more but I know I couldn't and I have realized that now and so much more. With that I am so blessed and honored to have done this. Thank you Janet Meads so very much! 👼♥♥💕💕🌹🌹

I am Thankful Day 2!

Good Morning! ♥☕😊👼! I was nominated by my Dear Friend Janet Mead to write about 3 Things I am thankful for for 3 Days. I am honored and blessed to do it. 😊♥👼💕

1. I am thankful for my mother with her birthday coming up on August 5th. I want to thank her for being the best that she could be she has had her struggles growing up all the way up to now. She Always stayed Determined, Strong, and Independent and will Always be a Survivor and she is also very upfront and hard working and Never Gave or Gives up on Anything Woman. I will Always admire her for it and yes like anyone she has her flaws for sure lol but who doesn't right? I love you mom and wish you the Best birthday ever! 🎂👼💕💕🙏🎁🎁🎊🎉

2. I am thankful for my life yes meaning I am thankful for all ups and downs and lessons and more I have learned with all my medical issues and all I still keep my head held high. 😊♥💪 👼

3. I am thankful for my Niece's and Nephew's they have taught me so very much. Specially my two nephew's they both have ADHD and Autism. They have such determination and Strength and Independence and Courage as do my twin niece's making there own identities and personalities and more. I am just amazed with all they have learned and want to do. An there never give up attitudes. God Bless them for it and may they continue to keep their heads up high and achieve all there life goals. 👼👼😊😊🌹🌹🌹💕💕💕♥♥♥🙏🙏👭👬🎊🎉

I am Thankful!

I was nominated today by a true dear friend Janet Meads to write about 3 things I am grateful for, for 3 days. I am honored and very blessed to do this. 👼💕💕😊
1. I am Thankful and Grateful for my Family and True Friends you All have helped me through really tough times and been for me when I needed it and you were there to Encourage me to be a better person, sister, cousin, niece, friend and to be that much stronger and to believe in myself and speak up for myself and stand my ground for something I am passionate about. An to never give up on Anything! 👼💕💕🌹

2. I am thankful for all the lessons I have learned growing up and to now. Because they have helped me to be that much more Stronger and be a Survivor of all that I have been dealt in my life. To believe in me and know that there are True Friends out there and the Fake ones I was so used to having. To be that much more Confident in myself and others. 👼💕🌹
3. This one is a bit tough for me so please bare with me I am thankful to these people for Saving my life, yes saving my life They gave me the Courage to be me again and know that I can overcome Anything. They are Dan Gheesling, Stacey Holland, Colleen Kelly, Ryan Boosh, Janet Meads , Joni Kendall, Honda, Mindy, Joey Villarreal, Crystal Torrey, Steve Villa, to name a few but especially my dear cousin Isela Garcia God Bless her for all that she has helped through and with. I love you all and take care you all are like my second family. I wish you all the very best. 😊👼💕💕💕💕💕🌹🌹🌹✨

A late Night...lol

I am sitting here in my Apartment Complexes Laundry Room at 4:44am. Now by myself there was a creepy guy in here lol. Anyway, My I am bit bothered because my brother Sergio was "suppose to" go see his daughters this past weekend, with my mom. But he chose which is his choice not to go. I understand he didn't want have my mom paying for everything which I really get. I don't know maybe I am being silly but I just though he really wanted to see them I mean keeps saying he wants to but isn't doing anything like getting a job and stuff. He says he's looking but I don't believe him because he should've had one already something even Temporary better than nothing right? I don't know what do you think? Please let me know..  😊 take care and god bless. 💚💜💕🙏

Thank You All!! ☺

I am writing this one because I want to say Thank You So Much to All My ReneGamer Friends and Family. ☺ You All are truly the best and have helped me with so much these passed months from my younger brothers passing to family members being in the hospital. I am truly very blessed and honored to know each and everyone of you. 💝🎉 I love you all so much and wish you all nothing but the best and I hope soon to be able to meet you all face to face. 💝💝😊☺Thank you and take care and god bless. ☺
The picture of little girl is me☺!

I pray for you..

Hey, all I am asking if you would please say some prayers for my family and I because my nephew Xavier Melendez is having mouth surgery yeah, because the medications he is taking for his bipolar and Autism have ruined his teeth. :( so please I ask that you keep him in your thoughts and prayers much appreciated god bless and thank you! 💝💝

Why?

I just don't understand why is it when I help out others it Always back fires on me? :( I just don't get it, I have done so much for others and this is what I get in return?! I am at a complete loss and frustrated.. :/ I know not everyone is greedy and selffish and all but me trusting you is not something to take advantage of and it doesn't come easy either. I wish some people would see that and understand that. But it is what it is. I guess.. I don't know. I really appreciate you all and lots of love and take care. :) <3

today is my birthday.

Hey, today is my birthday as usual Every year its bad. :( My Internet is "off" ) well it say i have access but nothing is loading. :-(( will I ever have a good birthday? I mean its bad enough i lost my brother to a drug overdose now this, ugh.. yeah this what my family and I are dealing with. :( We are getting through it as best as we can. <3 Appreciate all the support. :) Love you all and be well. <3<3

My Birthday! :)

Hey! Well my birthday is coming up, june 30th. I want to be excited about it but with what my family and I are going through its very hard. But I will try to stay positive for you All. :) ♡ I thank you all again for all your support. ♡ my Aunt is not doing so well again not good I know. I pray for her and wish her well.. ♡ I tell you I think my family and I are cursed. I mean just so much bad stuff and all. I don't know... you all take care and love to you all. :) ♡

A Reason to Stay Strong. :)

I have been through so much these past months when I didn't have Home Internet.  (I have it now) :) anyways, I go back to one of the best gaming communities on @twitch I have Never felt so much love by them like I did when I returned.  ♡♡ I appreciate that so much! :) unfortunately someone wasn't so glad. :( but I will Not let them get the Best of me nor will I stoop to there level of ignorance.  I will hold my head up high and move forward because they are Not worth my energy or time. My Aunt was in the hospital for Ammonia still is but is doing better thank God! She is such a strong fighter for sure. :) ♡♡ take care and god bless All! ♡

Just Because.. :)

I just want to say from the bottom of my heart and my families Thank You to Everyone for All your Prayers and support and thoughts through our tough time, God Bless You All ♥♥ you helped us to stay Strong and become Closer there are not enough words to thank you properly. :) ♥just wanted you All to know we are doing better and learning so much. :) well you All take care and miss you All my internet family ♥♥ :)

Appreciation

Appreciate Your Family and Friends

I have learned a very valuable lesson in the last few weeks, about Forgiveness and Appreciation,  never take your friends, family, or anyone at that for granted because you just never know anymore. There is a reason I am saying and writing this, but out of respect for my family I will not say what in my blog. If you really care and want to know you can e-mail me at athena_santana@yahoo.com or DM me on Twitter if your following me or facebook message me. Your choice,  anyway, I for one will Always cherish everyday and memory I have with my family and friends. ♥♥ ★ because they mean that much more to me. I also want to say I miss and love ALL my Renegamer Family from Twitch. I hope all is well with you and your families.  :) ♥♥ take care and see ya later. Sorry its short.. 

A New Beginning :)

A NEW BEGINNING..

I Have learned so much this week without Any Internet and Home Phone and All. I have Done a LOT of Thinking scary I know LOL! seriously though, I have thought a LOT about life and family and friends and Especially Forgiveness. yeah, I have Always thought of myself as a pretty forgving person and understanding as well. But come to find out after the brake in from my younger brother in my home I found myself taking things out on those that really care about me and being angry at such stupid stuff. I also found myself not being so forgving. yeah not good, with this time I have rethought a LOT of things and with the help of my therapy I have Learned to Forgive again and move forward in life. :) So yeah I am pretty proud of myself :) I am sure for some people out there don't believe but you know what I am not out prove or get approval from anyone so it is what it is! :) Just wanted to share this. God Bless and Take Care :) <3 (Love) :)

To My ReneGamer Family A letter of Gratitude! :)

This is a Letter Of Gratitude :)

I Want to Take this time to Thank You All!! for All of  your friendships and Advice and for just being there for me when I needed an Ear to listen or cry in of over the phone and for just being you. :) Truly Genuwine and Inspirational and True friends to me. I have learned so much and changed so much within a year, I will ALWAYS Cherish that keep those memories of hanging out in chat until late hours and just talking and talking and helping each other  through some really tough times to worrying about each other and wanting to help. I am Personally  Honored and Blessed to know you All and look forward to finally meeting you All at some point. :) <3 <3 I wish Each and Everyone of you All the best and All the Great Success life has to offer you All. :) I Love You All ReneGamers!! :) God Bless! ( wanted to make a video but I don't really know how so I wrote this letter :) )

Very Bad Weekend..

A Very Bad Weekend.. :(

This Past weekend on Friday March 14th, My little brother Fermin Melendez, Broke into my Home. He Stole ALL My Diabetes Medications and Some Money, and some other things. Yes, the Material stuff can and will be replaced. Thank God! But the Trust and Respect what little I had for him Cannot be replaced. I am so hurt and have feelings of Anxiety and Confusion and Depressed right now. I am trying very hard to stay Positive with some help from Family and Dear Friends Colleen Kelly and Mindy from The Renegamer Twitch Community on Dan Gheeslings Twitch Channel. Truly The Best People Ever and Can't wait to meet in person some of them. <3 Anyway, Fermin is so deep into Drugs and homeless, and all its sad really cause his boys need him, and I feel bad for them my Nephews. He says he cares and misses them but Actions Speak Louder than Words. So yeah that was my weekend, and cried All weekend cause I was and still hurt very much. I Love you All and Take Care hope yours was better than mine.. 

Interesting Week.

Interesting Week

I have had a very interesting week last week, to say the least. Well the start was good with my Therapy, and All. Oh, by the way, My Therapist and Group Members are planning to buy Dan Gheeslings Book "Clean Your Own Mirror." and "Punch It In!" Yeah I am excited for them! :) Even though he does like me anymore :( oh well what can you do right? it is what it is! he didn't say that its just how I feel..Anyway, Enough about that, the rest of my week was interesting because my little brother Fermin was hanging out in my backyard, and I didn't even know he was there until he coughed, I thought it was my neighbors. I was mad cause he woke me up, and I laid into him. Sorry he could have come earlier and called. Then he had one of his drug friends here, oh no, no! hell no! I told him not to Ever do that Again. But my weekend that week was great had a good LONG conversations with my mom surprisingly yeah cause we can't have LONG conversations like that. It was very Eye Opening and Pleasant. :) She reminded me of a lot of things and I am very grateful for that. :)<3  Anyway, I hope you All have a great week and weekend to come :) 

A New Start..

A New Start

I am going to start a whole new Positive Blog, Because I'm trying stay Positive and want spread it around. I know some of my Blogs have not been so positive, but that's because I had so much Chaos going on. But not anymore I know I will have some not so good days again but right now its about being Positive. I have Plenty of Positive People in My life now to help me. :) I want Thank You All in Advance for ALL Your Support and putting up with rants and complaining. lol I am sure it was not easy, but I am very glad you stuck with me and listened Means a Lot to me. :)  I am Currently getting some Couseling again for my Severe Depression, and it is helping a lot. Yes, I have some not so good days but I Always try to look at the Positive Side of things now. With this being said I wish you all a great day and lots of good things. :) <3 Oh yeah One more thing I am going to try an do daily Blogs to keep updated and stuff. :) Okay Take care and be Safe :)

In your Honor..

In Your Honor..
On March 6, 2007, My Nephew Fermin Jerry Melendez Junior, "Junior" for short. My Younger Brothers Name Sake, was born Prematurely he was a little fighter for sure, my family, and I were so Happy to welcome him into the world. He was so small and everything, and yes it was hard to see him with all the machines and tubes attached to him but he still fought and never let it get him down. But On March 16, 2007, the good lord took him in his arms and carried him away. For sometime and even now its still hard to believe he is gone. But Every year his Birthday and Anniversary of his passing comes around we Celebrate his short lived life. An try to help others out there who have and are struggling with the same kind of situation. In the short time he was with us, he thought me so much about family and being there for each other and never taking each other for granted no matter what and Always Apologize to each other after an Agreement or fight never go to bed anger because you just never know.<3 Love to All! and God Bless! :)

Soul Searching :)

Soul Searching :)

All Last Week I did Some Serious Soul Searching, meaning I took a look back at everything that has happened this past month, an Now have a Whole New Outlook on things. An yes, I know nothing happens over night, Change happens slowly but surely. lol I am Currently going through some Counseling right now, and why am I sharing this because I want to people to be aware that Depression and Severe Depression which is what I have is very Serious and a Disease not the kind of disease you catch from someone or something or whatever no not like that. No you are not born with it an nor do you choose to be these way. A few weeks ago I wanted to end it all commit suicide, I was serious. What stopped me was a Retweet I saw just before I was going to do it, it was a video of a Sister expressing her feelings for her  Brother who took his life One year ago that day. (Jan. 31st. ) I started to think about my Nieces and Nephews and Friends and Family what they would have gone through if I had done that. I guess you can say it was Aha Moment. I just cried and cried thinking about how could I even think of doing that to them you know? But I understand to that for some it's not easy and that there family and friends can only do so much for them and some times it is just not enough. For me, it took that video to open my eyes to the pain and heartache I would have caused my friends and family. Now I have such a Wonderful Support group of people well I did already but I wasn't thinking about it at the time. An I Love You All for being here for me and standing and sticking by me through this as I go on my Journey to get help through Counseling. :) I can not Honestly Thank you All enough! :) May God Bless Each An Everyone of You For All your Patiences and Support <3 :)

To My Renegamer Family..

Wish You All Well..

Hello My Wonderful ReneGamer Family, I am Deeply Sadden to Have to Do This to All The Wonderful and Great People I met on Twitch.TV. But Some People Do Not Want Me Around Anymore, I am very Sorry to do this but Until this person can admit to there actions and take responsibility for them I will NOT return. I was Recently Banned for Saying" I CAN NOT GET ON sever sorry caps." ( Meaning the Minecraft Subcriber Server)There was for NO Justifyable reason of course for it, but they did it.After All My Support and Appreciation and More I guess was not enough. I don't know I am not sure why this person couldn't confront me directly through e-mail or twitter or whatever, But I guess. Anyway, I love You ALL and Hope to Stay in Contact with everyone on Twitter or facebook or what have you. <3 Again, I am so sorry to do this but like I said Until this person asks me back directly and Apologize for the unjustifiable banned I will NOT Return. :( <3 <3 All. 

Lessons Learned 2014

Lessons Learned 2014

Wow! It hasn't even been a month in, and I have Already Learned so much for 2014. I learned that there were people who I thought were true friends all this time turned out they were not. Which to is very sad, because I felt like a fool and stupid for actually believing in them and being there for them when they needed an ear or just someone to listen to them. I Felt really let down and disappointed in myself for Allowing myself to be used again. :( I know you can't control peoples actions and whatever, but I thought I knew better especially after having so many FAKE friends most of my life. All I can say is IT IS WHAT IT IS! why you ask because you can't change whats been done already all you can do is move forward and learn from it yes, its hard, and it does not happen over night it takes time, but You will get there. :) I remember when I first heard that saying I was thinking the person who said was rude and that she could EAT IT! but After taking the time to think about she was right. Now, I use it when needed in my life. :) The Lessons I have Learned are to be more Positive and Patience, which is funny cause I used to be the Most Patience Person in my family and now not so much lol I am to a point Patient. I guess with All I have gone through in life and still continue to learn everyday because you Never stop Learning I lost some patience, but I am working on it for sure :) Now, I have to say I did still continue to have some help with all of this I Thank You All from the bottom of my heart for putting up with me and problems and life journeys I truly Appreciate it so much. :) <3 <3 

Good To Bad

Good To Bad 

This Past week I had a Doctor Appointment as usual every month, I got to get my blood checked to make sure my Diabetes is in control. I got Weighed as usual and to my Surprise I Lost 100 pounds!! Now, I knew I lost weight but wasn't sure how much don't have a scale lol anyway, I was so very happy and still am but when I called my Mother to tell her, she tells me "It doesn't look like it, actually you look like you gained." I was so hurt and upset. You think I would be used to this, because she has ALWAYS been very critical of me my whole life no matter what it was, and she still is to this day. Anyway, I worked so hard to lose weight and for her to say that just hurt so much. Anyway, my Motivations to lose weight were and are All my friends and yes, Dan Gheesling and his book "Punch It In!"Very Helpful and Motivating! and Life Changing! :) I am just Grateful to have know and have meet such wonderful people and have them in my life. <3 :)

Oh, Just Yesterday a My Dear Friends Mom who lives in California with My Dear Friend Melissa Whisman, her Daughter :) Walked For the First time!! :) After 20 years of being in a Wheel Chair due to health Problems. She posted it in Facebook my friends Mom. I was and Am So Happy for her! God Bless her, and I wish her All the best! :) for 2014! I WISH YOU ALL THE VERY BEST FOR 2014 AND GOOD HEALTH AND SUCCESS!! :) <3 <3