WHY??

I REALLY WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHY SO MANY PEOPLE HATED ME IN MY LIFE. DON'T TELL ME IT'S NOT TRUE BECAUSE IT IS. ALL MY LIFE, I HAVE ALWAYS FELT THIS& NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY. I'M NOT ATTRACTIVE, I'M FAT NOW BUT GROWING UP I WASN'T. BUT EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS SO I BELIEVED IT AS I STILL DO NOW. ANYWAY, I'M A NOBODY FOR SURE ALWAYS HAVE BEEN. I'M NOT MADE OF MONEY, I'M POOR AS FUCK. I'M STRUGGLING BAD BUT OH WELL. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE WOULD PUSH ME AWAY & FORCE SITUATIONS THAT WERE NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. LIKE TRYING TO GET ME TO HAVE A "CLOSE" RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO WAS & IS PURE EVIL. THEN TO TRY AND FORCE ME TO LIVE BACK IN THIS PERSONS HOUSE. WHEN THEY KNEW THAT WAS NEVER GOING HAPPEN. I GUESS I JUST WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY WERE THINKING & WHAT DID I DO THAT WAS SO BAD, THAT THEY WOULD DO THIS STUFF TO ME. FOR THE RECORD, I'M NOT THROWING ANYTHING IN ANYONE'S FACE, I JUST WANT ANSWERS & TO ALSO UNDERSTAND WHY. I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS A LOT, ABOUT WHY PEOPLE TREATED ME THE WAY THEY DID & WHY THEY HATED ME SO BAD& WHY WAS I PUT THROUGH SO MUCH EVIL LIKE I WAS. AN LIKE I AM NOW AS STILL HERE IN ARIZONA. I STRUGGLE EVERYDAY TO GET UP & I JUST WANT TO NOT WAKE UP MOST DAYS AND I WANT TO KILL MYSELF MOST DAYS AS WELL. I KNOW IF I WERE TO TRY NO ONE HERE WOULD STOP ME. NO I'M NOT THREATENING TO, I'M JUST POINTING THAT OUT. PLEASE DON'T TWIST MY WORDS OR PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH. ANYWAY, I JUST HAD TO GET THIS STUFF OFF MY CHEST. BECAUSE IT'S BEEN WEIGHING ON ME FOR A WHILE NOW. I'M NOT SURE I WILL EVER KNOW WHY ANY OF THIS IS HAPPENING OR EVER HAPPENED. BUT I WANT THOSE PEOPLE WHO MAY BE GOING THROUGH THE SAME CRAP OR HAVE GONE THROUGH THE SAME CRAP THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE AT ALL. YES I WILL GET THROUGH IT & ALL BUT THE PAIN & HURT FROM IT ALL WILL NEVER GO AWAY. 🙏🏾🙏🏾👼🏾👼🏾🫂🫂🕯🕯🕯☮️✝️🕊🕊🕊🤍🤍💜💜🦋