Life Changes!

I haven't written in such a long time. So much has changed in my life. I'm not really sure were to begin. Well I guess I will start with meeting my BFF/Sister. Her was Maddie. She was truly very wise & amazing. She had such a awful & horrible life growing up like I have. But still managed to Stay Strong & Fight like a Warrior. She definitely had an old soul. I always felt that from her & her & I had such a very special close connect that was unexplainable. She knew how I was feeling before I would tell her & more like I did with her. I'm sure your wondering why I said was. Well she passed away from COVID 2 years ago. I miss her so very much everyday. She also had so many health issues as well. As I do now. It's awful to say the least. I have been dealing so very much in my life. I'm still stuck in Arizona unfortunately. I really wish to God I wasn't but I am. It sucks so very much. Because I can't deal with all the things I'm dealing with. I don't have anyone here in AZ to talk to or turn to or nothing. I do have many people outside of Arizona which I am extremely grateful & blessed to have. But the in person interaction means so much more. Anyway, I am suppose to move but when God only knows because I don't. Or even if actually will at this point. Because their have been so many blocks everytime I thought maybe this day or this month or year. An it hasn't happened yet. I'm really starting to lose hope & think I'm just meant to be stuck here in Arizona for what's left of my life & be miserable. 😔🥺. I don't like feeling this way but I do. I'm trying very hard to keep fighting & Stay Strong but it's getting so much harder to do that. Because my Mental Health is getting worse everyday. I'm doing better in some areas but not all. That's what's getting worse because I'm still dealing with Mental & Verbal & Emotional Abuse almost daily. It's very hard to deal with & to try & stay Strong through & all. There have been times were I wanted to give up completely but I won't because I don't want to do that to the people who are very close to me in my life. Because they mean the world to me. But anyway, I pray everyday for a Miracle & all. An nothing yet. Some ups I have been going to therapy & healing from a lot of the things I have been through. I still have a long way to go for sure. But I'm getting there. I also have been living on my own still for a long time now. I'm proud of myself for that. But I'm not happy that all these years later Sergio is still living with me. An still has yet to see his kids but that's neither here  nor there. Anyway, I really hope he moves on his own soon very soon. My slumlord as call him, is an Emblezzing dick. Just horrible doesn't fix or take care of anything at all. No matter how many times he is told. He doesn't care at all. Anyway, I'm struggling a bit with bills but not much I can do really. I tried to get help from every where I can & it's just one block after another. It's really upsetting & hard. I don't know anymore. So sorry it's sad & all. Of course I can't say everything that's going on because of privacy & legal reasons. I do apologize. I just pray & pray things get better here really very soon ASAP! 🙏🏾🙏🏾👼🏾👼🏾💪🏾💪🏾☮️✝️🕯🕯🕯🕯🤍🤍💜💜🕊🕊🤞🏾🤞🏾🤞🏾🤞🏾 I love you all very much & God bless.