JUST LOST. 😔🥺

I can't really explain how I'm feeling right now. Because I really don't know what to feel. I am just Lost & full of mixed emotions. On one hand I feel hurt, lied to, betrayed & heartbroken & guilty & so stupid & naive & weak & on the other hand I feel relief, peace, shock but not surprised, I feel helpless & useless & horrible & all. Not that anyone cares because no reads this. Just like when I tweet no one cares or when I speak no one cares. So I think why am even still alive, I mean wouldn't you think the world would be better off without me in it. I mean really why am I here, because my whole life has been a complete lie & full of hurt & heartache & pain & struggle & loss & betrayal & misery & suffering & broken promises & abandonment & feeling unwanted & unlovable & more. I mean absolutely no one here in Arizona gives a shit about me. No one checks on me here or helps me if I needed it because they want to, no only if it benefits them in some way. No fights me or stands up for me here, I am alone here by myself doing everything on my own here. Like usual I'm used to it yes, but it still sucks & hurts. I am certainly not looking forward to my Birthday at all. No way, it's ruined already as usual every year like clock work. Something bad happens either before or on my Birthday. To bad nothing good happens. Anyway, who cares God bless & take care. 🙏🏾🙏🏾👼🏾👼🏾☮️✝️🕯🕯🕯🕯🕊🕊🕊🕊💔💔💔